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Single Mothers Unsung HEROES Of The Society

Whenever I feel depressed I always pick up my phone and call my mother, and she gives me the best advice and energises me that I always feel better after, that’s the effect mothers have on our lives. I  believe most of my success is because of her prayers. Mothers make a plan even when they seem to be no way out they can make a meal out of nothing.

My parents divorced when I was very young to understand what was going on, ten years later I always hoped they would get back together, and we can be a family again. Relationships and marriage don’t always work out for different reasons some valid, some stupid but who cares. If a relationship doesn’t work you can still call it quits, and life goes on, but it’s a whole different story when kids are involved. Luckily for me, both my parents participated in raising me up despite the separation.

That’s my own story, but we were all brought up in different scenarios because life is tricky like that. Some never knew their fathers from birth; others lost their parents and others like me whose parents divorced. In many cases, we have seen single mothers raising kids on their own, nevermind the circumstances, but they always do a good job.

Raising kids with a shattered heart must be one of the hardest things ever, some decide not to remarry because they want to focus on raising their children, for some the dating scene becomes so tricky. Everything will be going well with a potential date until she mentions the kids and the judging begins, the guy will probably ‘smash’ and varnish. Why does society judge single mothers harshly? Why does society say “she can’t keep a man” not ”he can’t keep a woman”? Why do women take all the blame for failed marriages like they only must make it work?

Society’s attitude towards single motherhood is so negative people think single women raising a child without the benefit of a male partner is bad for society, and sadly men do most of the judging yet they are the ones who abandon their responsibilities. People come up with negative comments about kids raised by single mothers but is there any other way? I think not. Society’s take on single mothers is harsh, and off the mark, the stigma is very damaging. Most women don’t plan to be single mothers you cant force someone to stay in your life or take responsibility if they are not willing. Most people believe kids are behaving in a specific conduct because single mothers raised them. Dear society, single mothers are not raising criminals and children with loose morals. I have seen countless successful young people raised by single mothers.

There is a misconception that single mothers go around sleeping with men, and they are loose women which is untrue. Raising kids is never a walk in the park whether you have a partner or you are doing it on your own. Kids get sick, and they need food, a roof and an education most single mothers do this on a tight budget.

 

Single mothers have superpowers, they are always there, through the tantrums, the tears and the milestones. They play the role of two parents, yet society continues to judge them and treat them like the disease. Being a single mother means she decided to stick around and be with her children how about the men who disappear yet no one question them. I have witnessed fathers showing up soon after graduation after going for all these years the mother of your kids raising them without a single contribution why show up when you are not needed.Instead of ridiculing single mothers and judging them we should treat them like the heroes they are. When are we going to start judging men for not taking responsibilities of raising their kids and stop judging single mothers for being heroes they are? Men must be accountable too and take the blame for being absent parents. I have noticed after a divorce women take all the blame like it does not take two people to make a relationship work.

 

If you are a single mother just know you are my hero and keep doing what you are doing to raise your kids without you, we wouldn’t have these doctors, pilots, engineers etc. You are not an accident.You decided to be there for your children although you had many choices.  I would also like to salute single fathers your work does not go unnoticed keep doing a great job.

 

Time for society to praise single mothers than criticizing them for making the right choice and being the responsible parent.

6 Responses

  1. Makgabo
    I’m a single mother. I’ve gone through all these things you mentioned here: I’ve been judged and ridiculed. At first I’d cry myself to sleep and feel sorry for myself. But then I realized: it doesn’t take self-pity to raise a child. Other people’s negative opinions about me and my child don’t have to be our reality.

  2. keitumetse
    My word,this gave me goosebumps. As a single mother myself I can tell you its not an easy task but we soldier on. There are times were I constantly feel like I failed my daughter because her dad is not part of her life.Even though he is the one choosing not to be present in her life I still blame myself somehow. I have to parent for 2 because I am trying to close the void he has left,I do not want her feeling like she is not good enough for him to love her and be there for her. And do not get me started on the dating,lets just say that department is very dry coz I am afraid if i start introducing the guys in my life to her she might get too attached since she has never had a father……Thank you for this,its good to know we are being appreciated

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