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Cheating parents! Hurts from mom and dad

Cheating in the marriage didn’t actually start in the marriage. It started as a habit in one’s early relationships that just went on undelt with. If they’re cheating Before marriage, they’ll cheat in the marriage. Fornication after marriage only becomes adultery, the rings and vows don’t fix anything or break the habit. Breaking the habit is what breaks the habit and it starts with a renewed mind about the subject.
A business deal I had done involving a lot of money had gone wrong so I decided to go see the other party involved at their place of residence to see if we could find a way forward before pursuing Legal courses. As I pulled up this persons gate with my brother I noticed a little girl watering flowers with a bucket. This was just after 8pm and found it strange, this girl was only about 4 years old. I asked her why she was doing this and with tears in her eyes she told me that her dad was angry because mom hadn’t watered his flowers so she wanted to help and stop dad from being so upset. She was only four but the arguing…. it was getting to her. They where in the middle of a heated argument. Their help (house maid) had fallen pregnant by this man. What broke my heart was how all three children where so distraught by the fighting. How could a man do this to his own family? The other one sat curled up by the corner as she listened to her sister tell her how she’d offer them to stop giving her pocket money if they stopped with the yelling, how sad was this! The pains that a cheating parent brings. Will they ever really know?
People cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls… because they can. Most cheaters truly believe they didn’t really do wrong by cheating because they’re doing what everybody else is doing. Infidelity stems from low self-esteem. You want to cheat when you don’t feel good about yourself. You have holes in your heart that a relationship with a perfectly loving someone can’t fill up. cheaters are like broken, cracked mugs. there is no amount of pouring into them that will fill them up. The quality of water is irrelevant. It could be salty sea water or fresh spring water water and this mug still wouldn’t be able to contain it. Someone who cheats has a lower moral standard than someone who does not and generally they will cheat in other areas of life as well. I feel like if you’re in a position in a relationship where you want to see other people, and the opportunity to cheat comes up, don’t. If you’re not married and you wanna see other people, just leave! Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up. In marriages however, things get more complicated…
“When a parent cheats, it hurts more than their spouse. You cheat on your kids by depriving them of a loving home with both parents, you cheat on your family by disappointing them and you cheat on GOD for breaking the promise you made to GOD as you said your vows infront of an ordained minister” Most of the times we don’t think about how deep having an affair is! When we say someone had an affair, it sounds like one event yet an affair involves thousands of mental acts, and living a double life. The level of betrayal is just insane. To the children its like you realise that they’ve been kidnapped and  snap into action by immediately selling their clothes and renting out their room, couldn’t care less about the child, it’s just about you!
How cheating affects the spouse
• Mistrust
• Diminished self esteem due to deception
• Depression which could lead to
• Suicide
• Feelings of resentment
• Arguments and confrontations
• Loss of intimacy
• Increased anxiety
• The urge to get a divorce
• Physical and emotional abuse
• Shame humiliation
• Drug/substance abuse
• A crushed spirit, constant tiredness
How cheating affects the children
• Loss of trust
• Shame,  Embarrassment
• confusion
• Anger and ambivalence toward the betraying parent
• Resentment toward the betrayed parent
Parents who have an affair are teaching their children very important rules that are likely to be followed for the rest of their lives. The effects go way into the adult years of a person. Intimacy avoidance or sexual addiction during adult years. Issues of promiscuity may arise in an attempt to play out what a child perceived from his parents about the casualness of sex and the impermanence of love. At times there may be resent toward the betrayed parent for requiring them to be their emotional caretaker, for under-parenting due to preoccupation with the infidelity drama. Often in this setup we draw the conclusion that marriage is a sham and love is an illusion. When parents stay married even though one or both parent(s) continues having affairs, the effect on children is profound confusion about the meaning of both love and marriage. When children (of any age) learn of a parent’s infidelity, they usually find it extremely difficult if not impossible to trust that someone they love will not lie to them, reject, or abandon them. They very often learn not to put their faith in love; they may also feel that they are not worthy of receiving monogamous love. This is how the cycle is continued to the next generation and never ends.

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